Wonderful Past

Life is about love & relationships and mad FUN: Family, friends & pets. We are embarking on a new chapter of our life; The Adoption of Our First Child!

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Hilarity of Mark Lowry

So my youth group used to attend these Califorinia State Youth Conferences. Tens of thousands of teens would attend. One year we went and the comedic relief was Mark Lowry. I find Mark's antics to be very funny.

Here are a few of his creations:

At a party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with bald head and a big gut, and still think they are beautiful.

The Years Best Headlines

  1. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  2. Eye Drops Off Shelf
  3. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  4. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  5. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
  6. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
  7. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  8. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  9. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  10. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Funny Bumper Stickers

Your kid may be an honors student but you're still an idiot.

I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I love cats... they taste just like chicken.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
IWomen who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

1 Other Freaks Said:

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Andrea said...

One of the best bumper stickers I should have bought, but didn't... Save A Cow, Eat A Vegetarian.

Hilarious....

 

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