Wonderful Past

Life is about love & relationships and mad FUN: Family, friends & pets. We are embarking on a new chapter of our life; The Adoption of Our First Child!

Friday, July 15, 2005

Ok, I am over my anger.

I went to see my family doctor this morning. She only allowed me to take the IV drug FORTAZ under her supervision, since I have a penicillin allergy. We had a long discussion about this doctor thing, she was extremely upset about what happened. I told her I felt guilty calling her when I was seeing the specialist and she said that I should have had her paged. She also said that what I just went through is unacceptable. So I take back what I said about ALL DOCTORS. But I still wonder about them.

Here is the type of infection I have:
Pseudomonas

Read about it if you want.

Oh and by the way, I get to start taking AMBIEN, so I can finally get some rest It has been about 5 years since I have had a complete nights sleep.

And another thing, I also get to take Effexor XR for the SEVERE General Anxiety Disorder I have. I had a long conversation with my sister -in-law Sarah on wed and I realized that my constant worrying and longing to be perfect at everything in life just isn't normal. Instead of feeling guilty about wanting to be perfect, I decided to talk to doc about it. I get to have therapy and take this new medicine. I would like to say that, although I do have some minor symptoms of depression, I am taking this medicine as a way to control the constant worrying and panic attacks that I experience (over things such as spilling a cup of water on the counter.) It isn't worth having a heart attack because I spilled water. Just imagine if it was coffee or juice.

Seeing as I have spent the last 7 years of my life trying to manage all this stuff on my own and NOT take any medicine, I seem to be loading up on it now. HOWEVER, I DO NOT and HAVE NOT EVER believed that life was supposed to be so frustrating. Thanks to my grandma, I realize that GOD put people on earth who are smart enough to discover these treatments, we should be smart enough to use them when appropriate. SO, I give in, and I guess...in the words of Bobby Brown

IT's my perogative.

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